Odd,  Politics

Absurd Laws You’ve Been Breaking and Could Be Jailed For

Handcuffs Arrest

In the free world, every single person has to abide by certain rules of law. Why? Well, there are a bunch of reasons that range from the fact anarchy is packed full of flaws, people can’t be trusted to rule themselves in a whimsical fashion and, above all else, so the rights of the smallest minority are upheld and protected; that small minority being you, the individual.

However, for all the good and all the sense that is intended, there are exceptions to every rule and so you can be sure to find some seriously absurd laws upheld the US justice system. You probably know what we are talking about because you’ve no doubt stumbled across a bunch of laws so weird they could be considered myths or urban legend, and most of the time that’s all they are. They are unsubstantiated claims by websites that a) can’t be bothered to check updated records and b) prefer clickbaiting to fact-checking.

That said, there are a plethora of, quite frankly, dumb laws out there, many of which you might be breaking. Don’t worry, though, as real as they are, a good lawyer can assist if you’re going to trial. Of course, instead of waiting until the police come knocking and for your mouth to hang open at the absurdity of it all, the best form of defense is knowledge, which is why we have made a list of the most absurd laws out there, some of which could be upheld in your very state. It’s time to laugh and cry.

No Disagreeable Odors In Alabama

Now, if you are a trainee teacher wondering where to apply your trade, you may want to consider Alabama for the simple fact any object with the sole purpose of creating disagreeable odors are strictly prohibited here. That means stink bombs, funk balls and anything else that falls within this bell curve are actually illegal to use. For the first time ever, schools could be a haven for learning; who would have thunk it?

It’s Illegal To Be Drunk in A Bar In Alaska

This is one of those laws so ridiculous, outdated and archaic you would think it is most definitely a piece of false news from Trump’s Twitter account. However, it is totally true. In Alaska, it is illegal for anyone that is already drunk to “knowingly” enter a bar in order to consume more alcohol, and it is illegal for anyone to remain in the bar they got drunk in. This is a juxtaposition that is as cruel as it is confusing. But while it may be easy to wiggle your way through the term ‘knowingly’, you may not want to hedge your bets because the police here actually enforce it.

The Only Advertisement In Hawaii Is Hawaii

To put this bluntly, billboards have largely been outlawed in Hawaii, as has aerial advertising. What’s astonishing is how long this law has stood, dating way back to 1927. However, as far as we can tell, this is not a stupid or foolish law, not in any respect. Quite the contrary. It was put in place as a way of ensuring the natural beauty of this state was never compromised and an urban beautification initiative was started. If you were to ask us, it is one of those laws that should be upheld everywhere.

No Patriotic Dancing In Massachusetts

At the moment, we are seeing a huge uproar as sports stars the world over refuse to stand during the national anthem, electing to kneel as a way of protest against police brutality. However, this is a matter of opinion and not law, so it may astound you to hear that dancing to the Star Spangled Banner is full-on illegal in Massachusetts. Now, given this law dates all the way back to 1917 and the first world war era, it is easy to see how excessive patriotism drew this law up. Yet it still stands today. Now, we have no idea how people would interpretively dance to the anthem but, it is worth noting, that this state law is somewhat overruled by a little-known document called the First Amendment.

Bagels Are Not Born Equal In New York

The great state of New York is known for a lot of things, including its love of bagels. However, what many people don’t know (including the majority of serving police officers and IRS agents) is that any bagel you buy that has been altered carries a pretty hefty eight cent sales tax on it. That means any bagel that has been sliced, toasted, covered with salmon and cream cheese or halved is going to be more expensive than the usually tax-free uncut bagel. It is a crazy world we live in.

They Do Drone On In West Virginia

You could look at it as slightly backwards or you could see it as upholding the skill involved in hunting but, in West Virginia, it is illegal to use a drone to hunt birds. Actually, it is illegal to use any unmanned aircraft, which begs the question, “could you go grouse hunting in a Northrop F-5 so long as you were in control?” It’s probably worth an email to your local senator. The other hunting law that you may need to know about is to do with hunting while in the woods, in which ferrets are illegal to use as a replacement for a dog. Ignore this rule and get caught, then you will be faced with a $100 fine right there and then.

No New Year Celebrations In North Dakota

This is one of the most ridiculous things you may have ever heard but, In North Dakota, it is illegal for anyone to set off fireworks before 8am or after 11pm, at least in Devil’s Lake. That is totally true. Of course, they aren’t all about upholding noise laws. They do have some fun. It just seems to happen once every thousand years, or at least that is what an amendment dating back to 1999 makes it look like, where North Dakota temporarily allowed the sale of fireworks between Boxing Day and New Year’s Day.

Frisbee No-Throw Zones In Montana

If you have ever driven across the huge plains of Montana then there are no doubts you will had the same shower thought as everyone else, “just how far could one throw a frisbee here?” It is one of those questions that has demanded an answer since the cognitive function was first developed. However, letting curiosity get the better of you could see your wallet become $500 lighter because it is absolutely illegal to go folfing anywhere but a designated folfing course. Now, if you just read the word folf and drew a blank, don’t worry, it’s not a well-known term – yet. Folfing is frisbee golfing and, yes, it is illegal to just do it anywhere, something that is worth remembering before you just go seeking answers on the Montana plains.

Dueling Is Strictly Forbidden In Kentucky

Well, that’s not strictly true. But if you want to become a public official or an attorney in this fine state then you need to stand in a courtroom and swear an oath that you have a) never fought in a duel with a deadly weapon (wooden spoons are fine) and b) never been the second during another person’s duel. Now, you may think this is pointless information, but just imagine how frustrating it would be if you endured college, went through all those exams and got elected into a position of authority only to be denied on a technicality. So, for the sake of your own future self, no duelling please.

Beth Jones is a valued contributor to various CosmoBC.com blogs.

One Comment

  • Richard

    Whew, I didn’t know these. And seriously, some are absurd. Anyway, ignorance of the law doesn’t count so I guess it’s better to educate yourself of their rules before going to any state.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *